"Nekkid" Pics Of Skyler

Ordinarily, I only send nude photos of myself over the Internet to chicks I'm trying to impressed, but this time it's different.

Last October before a gig, I had an accident and broke my leg. Dave did a quick operation with a little duct tape and the show went on. But, that was 9 months ago!!

I'm still sporting duct tape. Look at that! (I covered up some stuff that the censors insisted I should not show) He has yet to have a reputable "dummy surgeon" attend to my injury. This pisses me off. How long does he expect me to endure this? Don't I deserve decent medical care?

So Dave, this is an ultimatum--either get me fixed or I have other photos I could publish, that are far more embarrassing than this one. Are you listening?

Obligatory Michael Jackson Death Message

Singer, Michael Jackson is dead. He died yesterday. I'm not sentimental. I'm a ventriloquist dummy that sits on a grown man's knee. I think Michael would have liked me. In recent years, he looked a little like a ventriloquist dummy.

The only thing that has me curious is since he's dead, will he look like this in a few years?



Or, you know, he bought the Elephant's Man's bones several years ago...does that mean maybe somebody might buy his bones years from now and display him in their home; maybe dress his skeleton up is the Thriller jacket or better still, put a blanket over his skull, like he did his kids?



I'm pretty sure that in 2012, when the world is supposed to end, that the first think that happens is that Zombies will come alive and destroy us all. I think Michael Jackson will probably be leading the Zombie Army then and he'll be pissed that we all thought he molested kids and made fun of him. I could be in some real trouble when that happens.

On The Twitter

I haven't wrote on this damn thing since the end of 2008? Man, I have been lazy.

I could say that I have been busy, but that'd be a lie. Dave ain't using me in the act very much. He fancies himself a "stand-up" now, not a ventriloquist.

So, I decided I needed to get in a little trouble, so now I'm on that Twitter thing on the Internet. You "follow" people and read their status updates and you hope that they'll follow you back and read yours. Pretty much another way to waste time on the Internet when you're not watching naked women in videos.

If'n you want to "follow" me and you are on the Twitter thing you can see my profile @SkylerAL. The "AL" don't mean Alabama. "A" is my middle initial and "L" is for Leglantier, my last name. My full name was too long to be a Twitter ID and other shorter names were already taken.

So far, I am "following" anybody with the name "Skyler" in their ID and I have been "blocked" once. Apparently, somebody was creeped out about a dummy "following" them. Go Figure.

Hell, they're following twits that are creepier than me! Something tells me that this is a way for me too really annoy some people. I can only hope.

Another Wasted Year

Yeah it's almost here, just a few hours left until another year rolls around. Dave is making me write this, cause he says, "It's the thing to do". He says it in that whiny voice he uses on his kids. I'm not his kid, I'm a sidekick.

Instead of making me write this, I need to get him to have my leg professionally fixed. This duct tape on it is starting to itch. And to add insult to injury, he took a photo of it to show some repair guy. But, he hasn't developed it yet. Did I really want to get naked, so he could take a picture of my crotch? No, not really. But, he's a ventriloquist, so he's naturally weird. It's my cross I have to bear.

So anyway, if you need me, I'll be having a cheap bottle of champagne at midnight and some cheap tequila at 1AM and if all goes to plan--a cheap woman shortly after that.