Busting Out!

I'm not putting up with it anymore!

Dave and I have talked, and I'm busting out of that moldy trunk he keeps me in. I'm getting some new duds and I'm taking to the stage this year, and that means Dave better keep his promise and practice the hell out of his technique, cause I want people to watch me, and not his damn lips moving.

Damn, I look good in the light of the day!

2011 is sooooooo last year(to borrow a phrase)and I'm about to get my New Year on.

Get Ready 2012!

This is how I've felt all of 2011. Well no more, buckos. (And that's a hard word to make a dummy say without moving your lips) Look for a helluva lot more of me in 2012. I plan on talking more, performing more, and getting into a crap-load more trouble.

If ancient Mayan Indians are predicting the Apocalypse by the end of 2012, then ole Skyler plans to kick ass and take names until them moldy old Mayans scrape us off the planet and start over.

So, no frickin "Happy New Year" from me, get ready for my "Grab Me A New Year" and hang on, buckos.

I'll Be Here All Year

It's New Years' Eve! Go Party. Drive Safe. I'm here all next year.

Another Wasted Year

Yeah it's almost here, just a few hours left until another year rolls around. Dave is making me write this, cause he says, "It's the thing to do". He says it in that whiny voice he uses on his kids. I'm not his kid, I'm a sidekick.

Instead of making me write this, I need to get him to have my leg professionally fixed. This duct tape on it is starting to itch. And to add insult to injury, he took a photo of it to show some repair guy. But, he hasn't developed it yet. Did I really want to get naked, so he could take a picture of my crotch? No, not really. But, he's a ventriloquist, so he's naturally weird. It's my cross I have to bear.

So anyway, if you need me, I'll be having a cheap bottle of champagne at midnight and some cheap tequila at 1AM and if all goes to plan--a cheap woman shortly after that.

The New Year

I felt like these guys after New Year's Eve.

Maybe, if Dave gets off his ass and books some gigs soon, I won't have so much time on my hands and I won't get in so much trouble.